Hello Everyone!
*Forgive me in advance for possible rambling*
I really hate May’s. Why? Because always some kind of drama
or fuckery happens in May. But despite that, I’ve been feeling a lot better as
of late. Better enough to end my hiatus and continue writing.
A few weeks ago, I went to Anime Central, as planned. I had
a wonderful time and I made many new lovely friends. Everyone was so nice and I
really enjoyed the sort of laid back nature of this con. There was not a single
moment when I was sad or depressed, even when going with my new friends to the
Mika Takeguchi/Akira fashion event on Saturday. The only time I felt sad was
when I had to go home.
After having a less-than-stellar time at Anime Matsuri, ACEN was really
like a breath of fresh air for me and it helped me come to a lot of realizations
about many things that have been bothering me for the last few months. I can
honestly say I have not been so clear in what I want for myself in a very long
time as I am now.
I admit that I still have a lot of bad feelings of jealousy
and hate in my heart from time to time, but probably what has been my biggest
problem is not being honest with how I feel about things. It’s hard to be
honest about one’s feelings, especially if you are worried about hurting those
close to you. But I’ve come to the realization that if you feel like you can’t
be honest with someone, then you have to question what kind of relationship you
have with that person.
I’m never going to excuse my past behaviors, but I’ve
finally decided that if I’m ever going to be a better, stronger person, I must
first be honest with myself and stop letting others shame me for what I want
and how I fell. Not even those close to me.
My new friends at ACEN helped me realize that. I really hope
I can get the opportunity to hang with them again. In the meantime, I am going
to start posting more frequently here again.
International Lolita Day is this coming Saturday and I am currently planning
for me, Kitty and Amanda what is sure to be the best ILD ever! What are we
planning? I will write more about that in my next post! :-D
Yours Jasmine
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